Past and Future.
it gets annoying..
omg, yes <3
for me? yeah. I trust too easily.
people who don’t own up to their mistakes. it pisses me off beyond words. If you have fucked up, please at least acknowledge the fact that you have fucked up. I don’t care if you have, because I’m often told that when people fuck up, it is meant for learning, however, if you do not know that you have fucked up, there is a problem. My dad for instance. This is going to get pretty personal and I know it may sound bratty and spoiled to vent about her father over tumblr, but really. So this weekend, my dad messed up, and we all do y’know? Everybody in my family messes up from time to time, and they know they did something wrong. Everybody except my dad. I don’t know if this is an asian thing, where parents are brought up that the order of family hierarchy is dad, mom, son(s), daughter (s), and that whatever the dad says is probably right, but I moved here when I was like, 1 and a half years old. I was not raised in a Taiwanese enviroment. I didn’t go to school in Taiwan, I didn’t have schedules like my parents when they were younger, because we are in Canada. And here I’ve been taught that everybody is equal, women can be just as good as men, and people should be treated the same. But that wont go into my dad’s head because he’s been raised entirely in a Taiwanese enviroment. Whenever he does mess up, he doesn’t acknowledge it. He just goes on saying that he’s right, the dad is always right. No matter how the facts may be laid out, no matter how much this situation is against him, he will always say, “I’m right. and you’re wrong.” This weekend actually, his exact words were, “Have you ever told them what I say is right?” and then of course, because I was the daughter, the lowest in the family atm (my little sister gets away with whatever she wants) I had to hold my tongue and not say anything. Once he did tell me that my opinion did not matter, and I shouldn’t be interfering with the conversations of his. Plus I’m really really hyper. Most days I’m just jumping off the walls, my leg can’t stop shaking, I can’t sit still, i’m singing, yelling, dancing, laughing out of control, and my dad hates it. I can’t help it though. I have to or else I feel like i’m going to burst. He’s told me repeatidly to stop being so hyper, stop being like that, sit still, don’t talk. He’s also asked me to change myself once too. He said it was awkward in public when I was just sitting there, bouncing my leg out of control. My mom thinks its bad too, and she said not to do it cause it makes me look like i’m challenged and I have a problem. She also blames my isolation on my “loneliness as a child” because when I was younger, they never played with me, they never took me out, I would just sit and play by myself. And I grew up alone and with the reason, “if you want something done, you’d better do it yourself.” because I don’t like it when people mess things up. It annoys me so much. Sure we’re only human, but honestly, when it doesn’t get done the way I want it to, I.. just don’t like it. Anyways, back on track, my relationship with my parents isn’t that great. Sometimes they look at me like its my fault things are happening. And yeah, I feel that way too. Little sister gets bad grades? I’m not helping her enough. I don’t get some award? I’m not working hard enough. Sisters fighting? I didn’t step in fast enough. Parents fighting? All because of me and what I do wrong. Of course, my oldest sister moved out. university and everything. my second oldest sister, straight A’s, piano, the perfect child. my little sister, the youngest one, the cute one, the one who is closest to my parents. Me? nothing.
a little longer. Just a little bit. Do whatever it takes to get through life. Eat, Blink, Breathe, Survive.
yeeeup, but I also wanna adopt a bb too.
